8 Christmas Tips

Christmas season is in full swing. Most likely that means you have one, two, (or maybe more) Christmas gatherings on your calendar. Here are a few ways to be intentional and to ensure that your time spent together is merry and bright.

1.) Communicate Expectations to Children
As moms many times we have certain expectations for our children’s behavior at family functions. However, we don’t always take the time to communicate those prior to the actual event. This can lead to frustration for both child and parent. Depending on the age of the child, of course, this may not be appropriate. But even toddlers can be gently reminded prior to arrival to say thank you for their gifts, and to share some of their new toys with other children. For older children there may be expectations around technology use during the event, or the assumption that they will refrain from comments about departure times. Taking time to discuss expectations before the holiday gathering can ensure that everyone is on the same page.

2.) Plan for Fun

Sometimes the individuals hosting the events are not parents, or do not have children at a similar life stage. That sometimes calls for additional planning to ensure that your child has what they need to enjoy their day. Sometimes this means packing some favorite toys, or allowing a special movie to accommodate time for adult conversation. A few of my clients are the only ones with children at their family gatherings. When planning for how to be intentional during the holidays, they brainstormed activities that are enjoyable for all ages. One client chose to do the saran wrapped ball with gifts wrapped inside as a family game. Another chose to bring gingerbread house kits for all to enjoy. Planning for fun can help bridge the age gaps and ensure that all enjoy their day.

3.) Give Introverts Breaks
Let’s face it; large groups for hours on end can be very draining for introverts. (Sometimes this is even true for those who are not introverts!) Giving introverts the chance to “get away” by going outside for a walk, running an errand away from the crowd, or even reading a book for 10 minutes during a long day can be a welcome recharge. Often they return ready to engage once again.

4.) Know When You are Leaving Before You Arrive
As crazy as it sounds, this strategy is really helpful for multiple reasons. Perhaps the most significant benefit is that it eliminates awkward tension and strained conversation around others if your immediate family has differing opinions on departure times. Two, it helps you be strategic about your day. Knowing your schedule will help you plan the best time to initiate and engage in activities that can be time consuming. For example, you don't want to start a two hour board game one half hour before you were planning to leave! If you are one of those people who enjoy going with the flow and not having a specific departure time, then perhaps you agree as a family that you will leave whenever the kids start "melting down." Communicating whatever expectations there are about leaving - before you arrive - is the key.

5.) Express Gratitude to the Host
Regardless of whether the day was planned, organized, or executed the way that you would choose, the host/hostess gave of their time and resources to have guests in their home. Most likely they did the very best that they could and spent much effort trying to make the day a success. Expressing gratitude for their hard work and effort is not only good manners; it tells the host that you noticed their endeavors and that you appreciate the gift of the time they gave. It also builds and strengthens your relationship with that person.

6.) Make Sure Your Kids Will Eat
Many kids go through phases where they have a very "selective" diet. (Can we say chicken nuggets and mac and cheese?) While it’s fun to bring the festive cookies and cheese balls, sometimes being armed with a few hearty foods that you know your child will eat is an important way to set your child (and therefore you) up for holiday success.

7.) Be Ready to Start a Positive Conversation
Let’s be real, sometimes family gatherings can be awkward. Seeing people only a few times each year makes conversations somewhat of a stretch at times. Having a few questions in mind that are positive conversation starters can be helpful when you are trying to bridge the gap. Examples of these questions might include: What was your favorite gift that you got for Christmas? What was one of your family highlights from this past year? How are you celebrating New Years? Did you read any good books this past year? What were they?

8.) Give Grace
Family gatherings are full of people. And sometimes, people are messy. People sometimes put their foot in their mouth. People can ask questions or make comments out of ignorance that hurt – even if it is unintended. Sometimes people are very opinionated and vocal about their political or social views which may differ from yours. Sometimes people can be annoying or bossy. Give grace. One definition of grace is “attractively polite.” I love that definition! Attractively polite grace says, "I can be kind and treat you with respect – even if we don’t agree". It says, "Even though your words may have hurt, I will choose to believe your heart." Grace says, "I choose to live today in peace and gratitude regardless of what you may do." Choosing to show grace is powerful.

What tip resonates with you? What will you do to be intentional at your holiday gatherings this Christmas season? May your holiday season be Merry and Bright!