Zap Guilt and Thrive
When my children were little, I would meet regularly with other moms of multiples. It was so much fun. We laughed and swapped stories and strategies with other moms who understood making formula by the pitcher, and having to upgrade to a mini-van right away just so that you could legally come home from the hospital with your children. At one such meeting, one of my friends in this group shared how much she loved the baby stage. She thoroughly enjoyed creating activity "stations" for her trio and rotating them through. She liked the hands on feeding and changing, and even challenging herself to become more efficient at their basic care. I remember listening to her share at the time and thinking......"What?!? Is she serious?!? I guess I must be a horrible mother, because those were some of the hardest, most draining days of my entire life. In fact, I never want to do that again!" I then thought - "There must be something wrong with me to feel this way. After all, shouldn't everyone enjoy caring for their newborn/s?" Cue the immediate mom guilt.
Fast forward a few months later, I was reading a book about how your personality affects your mothering. After reading about my particular personality, a huge wave of relief came over me. The book revealed that someone with my personality might tend to get bogged down with the daily routines and "hand on" nature of motherhood. (And, diaper changing and bottle feeding definitely quality as daily routines!) This was such a relief. I wasn't such a heartless, awful mother after all. I just wasn't living out of my strengths at that particular moment/season of motherhood. The book was also encouraging that some of my greatest strengths would come through conversations with my children - something that's just not possible to do before they have words!
Many years have passed from when I read that book, and discovered that I wasn't actually a failure at this whole motherhood gig. But, the learning from that moment has lived on. When we live out of our strengths as a mother, as a professional, as a wife, as a friend, as a woman - we thrive! Life is more fun. We are living our best life. When we are operating out of our weakness, life feels more like a struggle, takes more effort, and drains us.
The good news: life is full of transition and change. Many times the struggle is only for a short amount of time and you are soon into a stage, project, or season that matches your particular skill set. You can also take steps to learn exactly who you are and what specific strengths you bring to the table in motherhood, in your career, in your friendships, and in your marriage. Knowing this propels you to find ways to express your unique abilities daily, bringing you greater joy, and allowing you to best serve those you love. You can also ask others with different strengths to partner with you. During those times/seasons that you are living outside of your natural gifting look for a friend, your spouse, a parent, or co-worker who is better in that particular area and partner with them.
If you are in a season of life that matches your strengths - what can you do to stay there?
How can you continue to use your gifting?
If you are currently struggling in some area, what changes can you make?
What can you do to tap into your strengths?
Take a moment to reflect and write down the answers to these questions. How might you feel if you actually put your answers into action?
Do you want to learn more ways to live out of your strengths? Contact Carla to get started.